Oh, the birds and the bees talk, what a horrifying threat lies within you! While you mark an important rite of passage from child to puberty monster, you also mark the first time we have to sit down and allow our parents to wash wave after wave of shame and embarrassment over us. You haunt us, threatening to unfurl during any pregnant silence. Sooner or later we all have to suffer through you. Unless.....
Unless your parents spare you this embarrassment by skipping the conversation entirely, and avoiding any situations in which the conversations would have to occur. I guess that's why my dad never said, "Hey, why don't we listen to the second side of The Psychedelic Furs classic Talk, Talk, Talk. There's a track I think you should hear, and then we can talk about what the song means."
[ mp3 ]: The Psychedelic Furs - I Wanna Sleep With You
READ MORE AND LISTEN TO THE FULL ALBUM....
(after all, we were suffering through the Eagles dark years - loss after loss with quarterbacks like Doug Pederson, Bobby Hoying, and the late Jim McMahon (is he dead?) So Sunday afternoons were already bad enough)
To this day, we've still never had the talk. (Although my Mom did say to me once, as I was going out the door, "no hanky panky now!" That's as far as it got.) So thanks Dad. Thanks for understanding. When my wife gets pregnant from accidentally wearing my bicycle shorts in the bathtub, and a baby comes out of her stomach, I'll be sure I give my kid the same amount of respect.
[mp3]: The Psychedelic Furs - Pretty In Pink